Let’s talk OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) or as I call it “Organize Create Decorate”. Being OCD is something I have to work at daily. When you think everything has to be perfect it hinders you from taking a leap of faith.
When I started to do Bible journaling my fear wasn’t journaling in my Bible, I knew that’s where God had led me. My fear was messing it up. I wanted perfection; I wanted my journaling to be as perfect as the Bible is. You see when I mess something up I throw it away and start all over. Well I surely could not throw a Bible away every time something was imperfect.
Do you know how hard it is to manage your thoughts and compulsions? I would just get all panicky and my anxiety would hit an all time high. I have never had a problem drawing and coloring, it’s what I do but I felt so intimidated by the Bible.
But I had a desire, determination and had a positive attitude and opened up my Bible. I opened to the book of Genesis and prayed. I prayed God would touch my hands and give me the motivation and encouragement I needed to convey His Words. I read Genesis 1 – The Beginning and all these visions came to me of all the things God created. I pulled out my sketchpad and just started sketching and there you have it, my first journal entry.
The reason I sketch in a sketchpad first is because of my fear to mess up my Bible. I can erase and mark things out on a sketchpad and if I really don’t like what I’m creating I can toss it away. When you are OCD, the thought of things not being perfect can give a person anxiety.
You need to learn that it is about motivation. Remind yourself that you want to get better and continue your journey. There is no right or wrong way to Bible journaling and if we mess up it’s Okay. God still loves us no matter what our imperfections are.
I remember doing a journaling page, one of my first that I was so unhappy with that I wanted to give up. But, God led me to make a “perfectly imperfect page”. Why? To show me it’s Okay to not be perfect. I wanted to give up because it wasn’t what I had envisioned but the more I looked at it and prayed about it. I knew it was OK. I would get better and I needed to take my time and pray and let god lead me in this journey.
No one is going to judge you and no one would know it wasn’t your perfect creation. Stop, being so hard on yourself. We are all unique and children of God and this is where he led us. Despite our artistic ability. And, for me I have to remind myself as to why I want to get better. So I can continue on my journey in artful worship.
Do you believe this?
Well you should! This is why we have stamps, stickers, washi tape, stencils, etc. There is something for everyone and everyone has his or her own way to being creative in his or her walk with God.
Now when I journal I read the scripture, I pray about it and have a conversation with God. My visions are so much clearer when I do this and then those thoughts just come through my fingers and God has led me to my beautiful creations. Creations I love, creations I’m happy with and creations that God led me to through faith in him. Letting go of perfection and knowing that God has my back no matter what my artful journaling looks like.
Find your path even though it’s a long painful journey and you will have setbacks, just stay on course and focus on artful worship. I promise it will be well worth the sacrifice.
And, when you think about your OCD think….
O – Organize your supplies
C – Create your creation
D- Decorate your Bible or Journal
Doesn’t that sound so much better then Obsessive Compulsive Disorder? I think so!!
Now if you are looking for a place to start you can always do a Bible study. I know it helps me understand God’s Word. My partner in crime Becky does an awesome Bible study every month and oh all the goodies you get.
You can pre-order July’s Bible study —-> HERE
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